Monday, August 11, 2008

Truth Test Reveals Lies

Domestic abusers become very good liars and manipulators. They have to in order to survive. For some, it's a coping mechanism to justify their inappropriate behavior.

Vince Chowdhury is this type of person. In an interview with the Columbine Courier, Vince says in his 21 years of marriage, "I have never had any problems whatsoever." This statement may work with the general (unmarried) public who doesn't know Vince Chowdhury. It doesn't work with the people who have sat through at least one Jeffco school board meeting, his fellow Board of Education members who have publicly asked him to resign and gave him a July 25th deadline (which he didn't respond to), or the people who know his wife and daughters.

Many people have observed Vince Chowdhury display extreme behavior and "lose it" (using his own words) in public. Primarily, his outbursts of anger have been aimed at women.

Chowdhury goes on, in the Columbine Courier article, to say that he's working with his family to make it whole again. This must be very difficult to do with a protective order keeping him from any contact with his wife or daughters.

Finally, Chowdhury's words toward the end of the article reveals the mind of an abuser: "my commitment to our children has not changed..." Abusers follow a cycle of 1) honeymoon phase, 2) the normal phase, 3) the escalation phase and 4) the explosion phase. Vince is acting in the honeymoon phase where he's trying to re-establish himself by wooing people and expressing his sorrow. Vince is trying to rationalize his unacceptable behavior.

We are standing in support of Mrs. Chowdhury and her daughters. This cycle of domestic violence can only stop when one party steps out of the cycle. We recognize that this has likely gone on for years and this June 17th incident was the final straw.

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